The most expensive part of buying #Adele25 is all the wine you have to drink. — Joseph Morris (@jldmorris) If cats could drink wine I'd never feel alone. — lauren caltagirone (@MrsRupertPupkin) budgeting tip buy all of your bedding in the same color as the wine you drink in bed — lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) When I need to bring a bottle of wine to a dinner party I always Zillow that person's house first so I know how much to spend. — Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) My favorite chicken is made with white wine and no chicken. — Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) How to drink wine: 2. Open wine bottle. 3. Throw glass in garbage. (you don't need that) 4. Drink whole bottle. — Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) You can't make anyone shut up, but you can drink a bottle of wine and forget everything they said — Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) How do you get a red wine stain off a baby? — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford)

After dozens of rewrites, all tales of Jesus' brother Carl were lost from the Bible. Carl could turn wine into water. No one liked Carl. I always drink a few glasses of wine before going to the gym so I can ignore the burn — elan gale (@theyearofelan) It never fails- every time I wear white, I spill a whole bottle of wine down my throat.good wine in londonwe both know i only put this im my basket to stop the wine bottles from clinking.best italian wine from italyWine, get on deck.top 5 wine making kits My favorite Sunday game is going to the store and filling up a handbasket with wine. best wine bars new york magazine

When it's too heavy to carry, you win. — Jeff Kelley (@jephkelley) I'm sorry for pouring red wine into your Brita, I just was trying to make rosé. — braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) No good can ever come from the BevMo five cent wine sale — Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff)best wine with spanish food Reaching new heights in laziness by choosing wine based on screw-top vs. corkbest wine rss So much of being an adult is bringing a bottle of wine someone brought to your house to someone else's housebest place to get a glass of wine in nyc — emily axford (@eaxford)can i buy wine on amazon My hotel has a temper pedic mattress. best wine served with fish

Guess who's not spilling her box of red wine tonight! — Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) Author of one book, manager of two wineries, mother of three children, and speaker of four languages, this fourth generation vintner and physician has mastered the juggling act. She has been an integral part of the Argentine Malbec movement and promoter of the Mendoza wine region where both her family’s winery, Bodega Catena Zapata, and her own, Luca Winery, are located. From sommeliers to the world's top critics, here are the best wine personalities to follow on Twitter.—Tyler ColmanIt’s Wednesday again, which means you have a legitimate reason to grab a glass (or bottle, whatever, this is a judgement-free zone) of Cabernet and do whatever it is you like to do with a glass (or bottle) of wine. Get naked and watch a romcom on Netflix. Change into a bodysuit and practice Beyoncé dance moves in the mirror. Treat yourself to some cheese and crackers, damnit! You know you haven’t had any since Khloe Kardashian revealed she lost ten pounds abstaining from cheese alone!

You know what else you earned? A couple of laughs because, no, that isn’t too much to ask for considering your bad self just made it halfway through the week. I’ll drink to that. And you should too. Happy Wine Wednesday, Berries. This could just be the wine talking but I USED TO BEEEE GRAPESSZZZ — Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 8, 2015 If God wanted me to have vegetables he'd have put them in wine. — Henry Tudor (@KngHnryVIII) May 11, 2016 — braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) April 30, 2014 — Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) May 16, 2012 — Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 9, 2013 Me: I'm definitely over himWine: No — moody monday (@mdob11) April 19, 2015 Who called them drunken texts and not remorse code — Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) March 6, 2015 — Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) April 4, 2013 — lauren caltagirone (@MrsRupertPupkin) April 11, 2013 — elan gale (@theyearofelan) April 15, 2013

Guests: I brought you some non-alcoholic wine Me: oh excellent *pours it down the sink without breaking eye contact* — DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) November 27, 2014 DATE: ill have a dry white wine please ME: yeah ill have a wet one, thanks — tomsauced (@trojansauce) September 13, 2015Throw glass in garbage.(you don't need that)4. Drink whole bottle.5. — Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) September 22, 2014 You're drunk and trying to outrun the cops on horseback but they eventually catch you because it turns out you're just on a carousel — ♡ Good Account ♡ (@SortaBad) June 6, 2015 — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 3, 2013 — Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) June 4, 2014 — lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) December 7, 2012 [ordering wine while on date]do you like merlot, tammy?"yeah but you don't pronounce the T"ok *looks at waiter* 2 merlot for me and ammy — brent (@murrman5) January 22, 2015 Having one of those horrific can't-breath anxiety attacks when there's no wine in front of me.

Liquor before beer, in the clear. Wine before whiskey before beer before whiskey before rum before beer, I'm an idiot. — Jen Lewis (@thisjenlewis) April 27, 2013 — Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) March 17, 2015 Ahhh yes of course, I adore wine. I especially love [looks down at bottle of Pinot Grigio] peanut Gregorio — Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) January 19, 2015 Alcohol is like a push-up bra for your personality. — Nicole Betz (@TomHanksIsHot) April 21, 2012 — shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) May 6, 2015 — Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) April 5, 2015 — emily axford (@eaxford) July 25, 2015 I know you shouldn't mix red wine and codiene but bloody hell the pub quiz flew by last night! — Alan Carr (@AlanCarr) May 11, 2016 I typed "chronic fatigue, insomnia, hair loss and inability to avoid wine" into WebMD and it diagnosed me with "Mom". — Sara Mansford (@SaraMansford) May 10, 2016 — Common Gay Boy (@CGBPosts) May 11, 2016