Do you want know some really funny quotes about wine! Just read on and get some amazingly witty wine quotations, to accompany the heavenly drink. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. What is the definition of a good wine? It should start and end with a smile. Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost. Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion. The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy. This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. Wine is a peep-hole on a man. Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. Good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used. Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.

A mind of the caliber of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows. - George Bernard Shaw on wine Sweetness belongs in the Mosel wine like the bubbles belong in the Champagne. Appreciating old wine is like making love to a very old lady. It can even be enjoyable. But it requires a bit of imagination. Blind tastings are to wine what strip poker is to love. The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars. What is better than to sit at the end of the day and drink wine with friends, or substitutes for friends! If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good! Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it. Where there is plenty of wine, sorrow and worry take wing. I have enjoyed great health at a great age because everyday since I can remember I have consumed a bottle of wine except when I have not felt well. Then I have consumed two bottles. - Bishop of Seville

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Sir Robert Scott Caywood Beer is made by men, wine by God! Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII Life is too short to drink bad wine. If food is the body of good living, wine is its soul. I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn’t have to wait for it to age. See alsoReality Shows | Soups & Stews | More in 'Art & Entertainment'buy wine online ship to texas Thank You Quotes | buy wine online ship to texasFunny Senior Graduation Quotes | buy wine online in japanMens Cocktail Drinks | How To Make Tartar SauceFigures of Speech | Hotels in India :Paul the Wine Guy was the first of many men whom Monica dated on the show.

He appeared in The Pilot as a date of Monica's. He worked in a restaurant with Monica and she had probably told her friends about him prior to the episode since they all referred to him as "Paul the Wine Guy". They went out for dinner, but Monica insisted it wasn't a date, just "two people going to dinner, and not having sex," to which Chandler responded by saying "Sounds like a date to me." On the date, Paul claimed that "Since my wife left me, I haven't been able to perform... sexually". They ended up having sex. However, a co-worker of Monica's who had also once had sex with Paul had prior to this been told exactly the same thing-it was a line he used in a clever scheme to get women to sleep with him. When Monica discovered this after a casual conversation with the co-worker in question, she angrily breaks Paul's watch with her foot. Never to speak to him again. It is never explained why he is called "the Wine Guy". Phoebe even asks Chandler "What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or he just complains a lot?" but she doesn't receive an answer, as Chandler doesn't know.

Paul is mentioned again in "The One Where Eddie Won't Go" when Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are taking a "goddess" quiz from the book Be Your Own Windkeeper. Phoebe scolds Monica for letting "a guy into the forest of [her] righteous truth on the first date!". Ad blocker interference detected! Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.By Kurt Wolff and Annie Reuter Everyone knows country music is full of drinking songs. Be it whiskey, beer, a “Little Glass of Wine” or “White Lighting,” booze has been a part of the music’s fabric since the genre got off the ground in the 1920s. Drinking songs held strong during the honky-tonk era of Hank, Lefty, George and Ernest Tubb, and well into the ’80s and ’90s (“Friends in Low Places,” anyone?).

And of course drinking songs are still a staple among today’s artists, from barrooms and beer halls to a seemingly endless stream of tailgate parties and red Solo cups. Related: Which Country Artist First Sang About Tailgate Parties? We could spend days compiling a long list of drinking songs in all shapes and styles. But in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, we chose to focus our list below on songs that are about not just having a drink or two, but where having a few (or more) is the main point. So for instance, Luke Bryan’s “Drink a Beer” doesn’t qualify—it’s a powerful song, but the focus is on the narrator’s grief after losing a friend. However, Bryan’s earlier single “All My Friends Say,” where the narrator can’t remember what he did last night? Of course, we don’t necessarily condone the activities discussed below. But as songs, we do think our choices hold up well and represent some of country music’s finest moments when it comes to tying one on.

Related: Country Cliches Unraveled: Drinking Songs Some are happy, some are sad, some don’t exactly remember what or where they are. Either way, crack open your beverage of choice and have a listen. Long before the world knew the hip-shaking abilities of Luke Bryan, he was singing about his college days, more than a few of which involved a little drinking. Released in 2007, “All My Friends Say” introduced Bryan to the country world, as it was the lead single off his debut album I’ll Stay Me. “All My Friends Say” tells the tale of a guy who wakes up after a night of heavy drinking, and he can’t seem to fit together the missing puzzle pieces of the night before. It all started when he saw an ex with a new guy. “All my friends say I started shooting doubles when you walked in,” he sings. While he doesn’t remember a thing, all his friends tell him, “I was a rock star, party hard, getting over you comeback kid…I was Elvis rocking on the bar.” In the music video for the song, Bryan is playing for a party in a fraternity house, something that seems to forecast his future Spring Break concerts.

Bocephus has sung about Jim Beam more than a few times, but it’s this 1979 anthem that stands as his most potent ode to the golden nectar (and popular, too—it was a Top 5 hit). It’s a classic outlaw-era arrangement, thick bass lines and Southern rock guitar licks, with lyrics about crying to Hank Williams songs…which of course leads to more drinking. “Sure enough about closing time, I’m stoned out of my mind,” he sings. But when he wakes up the next morning, after taking home a stranger, he thinks about his “sweet girl at home,” and then he “needs to get whiskey bent and hell bound” all over again. Who doesn’t like a little day drinking? Little Big Town give the practice a whole new meaning on their playful and fun mandolin-led track. So after that big St. Patrick’s Day parade, heed the band’s advice: “Don’t want to wait ’til the sun’s sinking/ We could be feeling alright/ I know you know what I’m thinking/ Why don’t we do a little day drinking?”

You could write books just about George Jones‘ drinking songs, he’s approached the topic from so many directions. “White Lightning” and “Root Beer” are fun and lively early recordings, but in later years, when he gets into more somber, grown-up stuff like “If Drinking Don’t Kill Me (Her Memory Will),” then the tears come out (drinking, after all, got Jones himself into deep, deep trouble more than a few times). Jones’ 1989 single “The King Is Gone” is a silly song on one hand, with the narrator cracking open “a Jim Beam decanter shaped like Elvis” and pouring its contents into “a Flintstones jelly-bean jar.” But when you realize he’s doing so because a lover walked out on him, then the situation becomes darker. No wonder he’s left sitting on the floor muttering “Yabba dabba doo.” Sometimes, as Lady Antebellum sing, you just need to “chase that disco ball around ’til [you] don’t remember.” Luckily, bartenders can help speed that process up.

And if you’re lucky enough to have Tony Hale (Arrested Development) as your bartender, as Lady A were in their music video, the night surely will be an adventure. The perfect track to add some energy to your drink-heavy playlist, go ahead and get lost in the song. “Memories and drinks don’t mix too well,” Merle Haggard sings at the start of one of his best-known recordings, “Misery and Gin.” It’s an old-school song about a guy who, missing his presumably lost love, is left drowning his loneliness in a barroom, listening to the jukebox and “looking at the world through the bottom of a glass” where “all I see is a man who’s fading fast.” No, this isn’t a song that’ll get you fired up for a night on the town—but damn if it isn’t powerful medicine. Blake Shelton has no problem with drinking. In fact, if you follow him on Twitter you know it’s quite the opposite. He loves to drink. While he didn’t write this song, (David Lee Murphy, Chris DuBois and Dave Turnbull did) he made it his own.

When he sings, “Man, if I have one, I have 13. And they can’t get me off the karaoke machine,” you believe him. Also, we’d like an invite to the next karaoke party with Blake Shelton. The fella in Hank Thompson’s 1960 single “Six Pack to Go” isn’t in the best of spots. He’s “done spent [his] whole paycheck honky tonkin’ around” and now “doesn’t have enough to pay [his] rent.” Maybe it’s the booze clouding his brain (“I’ve been drinkin’ all day long/ Takin’ in the town”), but he’s not terribly worried about his situation, because as he sings, he’s got “time for one more round” and can even afford “a six pack to go.” Like many Thompson songs, the song has a swinging beat that carries it forward despite the straits, financial and likely otherwise, that our hero appears to be in. Related: A Short History of Drinking Songs in Country Music “I’ve been making the bars lots of big money and helping white people dance,” Brad Paisley sings on his 2005 hit, “Alcohol.”

If only we listened to the wise words of Paisley more carefully, we wouldn’t wake up the day after St. Patrick’s Day with all the promises to never, ever drink that much again. Can’t say he didn’t warn us. Next to George Jones, Texas honky-tonker Gary Stewart may have cut some of the finest drinking songs on the planet, from “An Empty Glass” to “She’s Acting Single (and I’m Drinking Doubles).” But it’s his 1978 single “Whiskey Trip” that keeps calling us back. Maybe it’s something about the hallucinations the main character has that set up the song. “I can almost see me now in Acapulco,” he sings. “I can almost feel the breeze that makes the palm trees sway.” But that fantasy of a tropical getaway is just that, a fantasy. The only trip this guy’s on is in his head. “Whiskey, you’re a friend of mine,” he sings, “You can blow away my mind/ To some other place and time.” All it takes is “one more drink and I know I’ll be there.” For us the song is a painful trip, yes, but oh so addicting.